I ate crisps and watched

So I was sitting here minding away on the computer as i usually do, up to my usual crap, when I hear this cacophonic burst of police sirens wail past.

I shrug it of without really thinking about it. Hey it’s a big city right? Another day, another crime.

And then, I hear a burst of fire sirens.
Big deal. It’s a big city. Another day, another fire.

And then I hear ambulance sirens.
Fah. Anudder day, anudder stiff.

So I nonchalantly continue banging away on my keyboard much like one of those cute monkeys trying to recreate the works of Shakespeare.

Then there is this heavy pounding starts banging away from the neighbour’s.
And I’m like,
"Damn you thoughtless neighbours! Making your freakin’ noise again!"
So in response I turn my music up.

But the heavy pounding persists! And is additionally now mixed with a compliment of splintering and cracking noises!
Two full minutes of this and my patience is worn thin.

"That’s it! I’ve had enough! Damn you neighbours! The drilling was one thing, the uneccesaryily loud playing of Cindy Lauper records at night was another, but this time you’ve gone too far!!!"

So I get out of the study and make my way to the door, but a slight gap in the curtains in the living room shone flashing blue lights into the otherwise dark living room.

Overtaken by curiosity, I crept toward the window and sneaked a peak out and lo! A great sight beheld itself before my eyes!

Four fire trucks, an ambulance, a convoy of cop cars, and a cohort of gaping onlookers comprised of the entire neighborhood stood before me like an army presenting itself to its general. I was too shocked to even say holy shit because they were all staring at me!




No they weren’t.

They were staring to my left.

I slowly craned my neck to my left and then I said "HOLY HECTOR HARRISON!"
My neighbours were on fire!

Now, I didn’t see any licking flames, but there was enough smoke there to justify any argument that would have stated that the house next to mine had been a volcano instead of a brick and mortar living accommodation all along.
That pounding sound that had riled me up had been the firefighters taking down their front door with an axe!

Those guys live right next to me, and I mean right next to me! Our houses are connected. My wall is their wall! So of course the first thing that crossed my mind was why the heck didn’t they evacuate me??
There was a police line drawn up fencing everyone out of a 50-metre radius of the place, which meant I was fenced in the site. But despite this I had been blissfully unaware of what was going on!
But I suppose they knew what they were doing... after all... I’m all right aren’t I?

So I said Pha! to the staring bystanders who had nothing better to do with their time than watch some poor fella's home burn.
The fools.
Unlike them, I have a front row seat.
So I pulled out a chair and a packet of crisps and watched the firefighters do battle.


Oh yeah, I spoke to a fireman in the aftermath during the clean-up - apparantly no one was hurt.

And on an additional note of irony: It was raining at the time.