NEWSFLASH!

Mike: This just in! The author sucks at blogs!

We now take you to our beautiful Blogspot correspondent Valerie Vavoom, voloptuous reporter live at the scene! Hello Valarie!

Valerie: Hello Mike! Yes it's true! Millions are shocked as this one blogger just can’t seem to get the hang of the idea that he’s supposed to write down everything that happens to him.

Mike: Fascinating!

Valerie: My sentiments exactly Mike! In fact what everyone is saying is that they simply cannot fathom why he’d bother to start to give up at such an early stage!

Mike: No I was talking about your chest. It is very fascinating.

Valerie: Well Mike, that’s what everyone says as well. As I was saying, Barely had he started he seems to have abandoned it at its bare bones…

Mike: I can tell you what I’d like to bone!

Valerie: You wish, buddy. It should be brought to the public’s attention that this is not the first time Mr. Oosterwijk has apparently abandoned a project. He’s done this sort of thing dozens of times and there is no real reason why this incident should stand a breast of the crowd.

Mike: And a lovely breast it is too!

Valerie: When confronted for an interview, the author suddenly found himself tongue tied and unable comment. The ensuing media pressure and the barricade around his house then drove him a teat over the edge as he then ran out of the house in an ill-fitting wig screaming that his name was Ethel Mildrege and that he was innocent and that he never knew a thing about any young handsome Spanish boys.

Mike: Boy would I like to get my tongue round your teats.

Valerie: You stay away from me you pervert.

Mike: Thank you Val. We now resume your stagnant webpage.